I must admit, it's been awhile. I have since gone my separate way. Walked down a road or two and even got lost a little along the way. At one point I found myself in the middle of nowhere, in darkness without so much as a flashlight to illuminate my path. I felt along the trees and ground allowing my fingers to be my eyes all the while praying at some point to be freed from uncertainty. Eventually a small circle of light appeared far beyond my steps. I knew soon... I'd be okay...

    I guess that's life, huh? Stumbling along the dark path from time to time until light illuminates once again. Maybe it is us who closes our eyes, refusing to see that which has been in front of us all along. So here I am, eyes wide open seeing the world around me in all its divine detail. The light is beautiful, warm and inviting. I will never close my eyes again...

     Wow... it's been a loooong time since I've been on here. I've just got the internet back on at my house so I can now blog any time I'm want... Hooray for you all...

     Happy belated birthday to moi... Yeah I've officially reached my milestone and I gotta tell ya; its kind of eye opening. These past two years has taught me a lot about myself. I can actually see the "dual" nature of me. Part of me wants to run off and just be completely free spirited and yet another part of me wants to settle down and start that family life. Man, I'm such a Gemini . Anyway... whatevah; I'm so fickle (who knows how I'd think next week...). On a whole other note... wanna know what REALLY grinds my gears?...

     Pirates; better yet, gay-ass pirates that pirade around all 'savy' like.

"ARRRRRHHH matey... I'm confused of me sexual orientation...")

This has got everybody thinking this s*&t is cool. I mean damn dude I like Johnny Depp... he's cool, but I would not want to be stuck on the Black Pearl with his horny ass... This usual burly man career turned sugar is a bit unnerving. Next thing you know, we'll have a movie about gay cowboys... oh wait...

...Yeah, it's been done. This would've never flew years ago... oh wait...

Damn...

I'm out kids. Till next time, lata playas...

     Is it so wrong to dream the dream of happiness. To want of a moment filled with complete satisfaction; a realization of ultimate totality in one's life. I often look into my brain from time to time. You know; dust the cobwebs off of certain ideals and hopes of my life, and gaze into its naive reflection. It brings a sort of bitter sweet smile to my face. I mean hey, we all want to find that special purpose and need that fills our unquenchable thirst. Some think it to be riches, others that special someone but whatever the case may be we damn near plot our whole life's journey to achieve that which we perceive to be our 'nirvana'. Often times people achieve just what they sought out for and are left wanting more. Can you imagine going through the pain, the sweat and tears only to find that the one thing you thought would quench your thirst for purpose doesn't satisfy? Damn...

     Ok, my bad... I don't mean to bring somberness to you this holiday season. I'm just saying Mercutio had an interesting response to Romeo's delusions of perfected grandeur. Maybe sometimes we lie to ourselves when we dream our perfect dreams. Perhaps things aren't always what they seem to be. I just wonder sometimes...

'True, I talk of dreams, 
Which are the children of an idle brain, 
Begot of nothing but vain fantasy, 
Which is as thin of substance as the air 
And more inconstant than the wind, who wooes 
Even now the frozen bosom of the north, 
And, being anger’d, puffs away from thence, 
Turning his face to the dew-dropping south.'      (Mercutio to Romeo: Romeo and Juliet)

     Hey, maybe its those crazy 'herbs' talking. Yeah, I know... I know... shame on Sid. Despite that moment of intense reflection my spirit never fells to override my cynical nature.

  Hell yeah I dream a perfect dream!/ A dream as sharp as destiny's spear./ It pierces my heart and its blood is poured forth/ spilling my faith's fortune onto the floor/ I peer into its crimson reflection and see my future's self/ He looks battered and bruised/ I shiver at the thought of his journey to get there/ The obstacles and battles he must have faced/ I try to talk but my words stay locked beneath my tongue/ He smiles back at me/ A look of satisfaction and self awareness/  The truth of his totality is seen in his countenance/ Hell yeah! I dream that perfect dream/ Of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness/ I do not fear the brutality of reality for my faith hath made me whole/ I gaze once more to see my future's self/ He looks battered and bruised... but he's happy, he's at peace... he's free...

      copyrighted 2006 © by Sidney J. Hopson all rights reserved.

     Follow those dreams people no matter how unreachable they may seem. I for one am cheering in your corner! Happy New Year!!!